They say traveling alone is the best way to get to know yourself. And when you travel with someone, something similar happens – you get to know them better.

This is why many modern couples, especially those thinking of marriage, are taking trips with their future partner. This is helping them make better decisions and avoid marrying the wrong person.

Do you want to go on your first honeymoon with your partner? This is a thing of the past now.

For example, when Tanisha (name changed), a 29-year-old professional working in Delhi, went on a trip to Rishikesh with a guy she met on a matrimonial portal, she knew he would make a good life partner.

“After a few dates and talking to him for over two months, I knew I liked him. But to be more sure, I planned a weekend trip with him. I thought it would be a good way to get to know him better and see him without any pretenses. Those two days made me realise that he would be a really good life partner – he was very considerate towards me throughout the trip and handled some difficult situations very calmly. Though there were some annoyances, they were not deal-breakers for me. After one more trip, I knew he was the right one for me,” she told us.

Now they are living a happy married life and will soon celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

“I didn’t tell my parents that I was going on a trip with him. They would never have allowed it. But his parents knew, and I also informed my close friends for safety reasons. But I am glad I took this decision, because it not only made me realise that he is the right person, but also strengthened the bond between us before planning the wedding,” she says.

How travel helps you know a person better

Relationship experts agree that traveling with someone is a great way to get to know them, especially if you’re thinking about marriage. You’re more likely to see their real personality than when you’re on a regular date or chatting over calls.

Travel difficulties (such as a cancelled hotel booking or a burst car tyre) provide an opportunity to observe them up close and learn how they deal with stress.

“While travelling, all your masks come off. It gives you a better idea of ​​the person,” says Delhi-based relationship counsellor Ruchi Ruh.

From shared interests and daily habits to conflict resolution, spending habits, patience, adjustments and even intimacy – you get to know it all when you travel with them, making it easier to decide whether you want to take the relationship to the next level.

Dr Preeti Singh, senior consultant clinical psychology and psychiatry and chief medical officer at online mental health platform Lisun, says travel is a great ice-breaker for people who are thinking of living together, and it is better to know a person in different situations and circumstances before marriage.

Relationship coach Daman Philip agrees, “Traveling with a potential partner is a valuable opportunity to learn about each other in ways that are rarely encountered in daily life. It tests and strengthens different aspects of the relationship, providing a solid foundation for a future together.”

Daman explains, “Observing how your partner handles stress, how they communicate, negotiate and make decisions as a team in real-time can provide valuable information about their character. Living together also gives you the opportunity to learn about each other’s likes and dislikes, comfort zones, values ​​and beliefs, and how you both prioritise different aspects of the trip – agenda, expenses, logistics, etc., opening up opportunities that reveal compatibility in daily habits and interests.”

The process of planning before the trip also helps in understanding the person better.

“If the person wants to vacation at the beach and you hate the beach, this situation could give you a glimpse into their rigidity and the way they make decisions,” says Ruchi.

When planning an itinerary or vacationing together, you can also see if he will participate in your interests. “If you are interested in art, will he go to the museum with you? You can get to know a person better on vacation,” she adds.

Traveling promotes meaningful conversations. “You are less stressed and have better conversations. It also becomes easier to have difficult conversations,” says Dr. Singh.

A short live-in?

Relationship experts also say that travelling together is like a small live-in relationship.

Ruchi Ruh, who believes staying at home is a good way to get to know people, says travelling can be a viable option for those who don’t want to stay at home.

Ruchi says, “Living together requires commitment, and there are many other difficult aspects to deal with such as financial matters, social scrutiny and informing parents. But in case of travelling, you can just go and spend two to three days and then come back. You are together only for the trip, and then you can separate and even leave if you are not together.”

This can be especially effective for people who are looking for a partner to marry but don’t want to spend years dating.

“It helps us judge how a person is – if there’s a major problem with something – it becomes more obvious in places like this,” Dr Singh said.

Unlike a honeymoon, where you are already tied to the knot, planning a trip during courtship gives you a chance to flesh out the relationship and avoid marrying the wrong person.

Instead of just testing and evaluating a person, also focus on understanding his or her potential future dynamics.

Daman Philip says, “Pay attention to how both of you react to different situations and discuss your observations openly. Create a comfortable environment to reflect on these experiences and this, in turn, can deepen your understanding of each other.”

This step may seem like a challenge to society, but if it helps you make a life-changing decision, such as marriage – isn’t it worth it?

Just remember to inform a family member or a close friend, even if you are planning to go on that trip secretly.