While growing up, your parents (or guardians) made most of the decisions for you. From what you would eat to where you would go to school, and in some cases, even what stream you would study and college you would get into. But now you are an adult, which means you have to make your own life decisions. This idea can be liberating for many, but a real nightmare for those who are indecisive.

The idea of ​​making a decision – whether it is ordering at a restaurant or choosing a life partner – can cause anxiety in such people. However, in adulthood, one cannot escape from it. One has to make important decisions in personal life, career, health and more. After all, life brings changes and challenges. But when one is indecisive, it can do more harm than good. From your mental health to professional life and relationships, being indecisive has a negative impact.

Dr Gaurav Gupta, CEO and senior psychiatrist, Tulsi Health Care, says, “Indecisiveness can lead to delays in making important decisions, resulting in missed opportunities and increased stress levels. Constantly questioning decisions can be mentally exhausting, leading to anxiety. Being indecisive can cause tension in relationships as people may get impatient with your lack of resolve.”

At work, this can hinder your growth as hesitation in making decisions can be seen as a lack of confidence and leadership. “Indecisiveness can ultimately lead to a cycle of doubt and delay, as well as a drop in self-esteem,” says Dr Gupta.

Many adults call themselves ‘indecisive’ and think there is no way to change. But think, this is not true. Even as an adult, one can overcome indecisiveness.

Even though many adults consider their inability to make decisions as a way of being, and perhaps as a personality trait, they fail to understand that it can be worked on. How? We’ll get there. But first, it’s important to understand why some people find it difficult to make decisions.

Why are some people indecisive?

Many things contribute to indecisiveness, such as perfectionism, overthinking, fear of making the wrong decision, and controlling parents. “The thought of making a mistake is so overwhelming and scary that it paralyzes people when trying to make a decision,” says Shreya Kaul, a Noida-based counselling psychologist.

For many people, it is self-doubt and a lack of confidence in their judgment that forces them to reconsider their decisions; for others, it may be past decisions that make it challenging.

“External pressure or a desire to win over others can make the process even more difficult. In general, a variety of situational, psychological, and emotional factors play a role in indecision,” says Dr. Gupta.

Mental health also plays a role. “People with anxiety may have difficulty making decisions because they are afraid of what might happen. In some cases, childhood trauma and experiences affect people and their decision-making abilities,” says Kaul.

“In extreme cases, indecisiveness may be part of a mental disorder, such as dependent personality disorder, in which a person becomes overly dependent on others for emotional and physical needs. These cases usually require diagnosis by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist,” says Kaul. Experts say children whose parents make most of the decisions for them often struggle to make decisions as adults.

What does indecision look like?

“Hesitancy, constant doubt, and difficulty making decisions are signs of indecisiveness,” says Dr. Gupta.

Indecisive people often delay making decisions, seek reassurance from others and experience anxiety about possible outcomes. They overthink even seemingly unimportant decisions, ultimately leading to delays, frustration and a lack of confidence in the decision.

“Indecisiveness can manifest in many ways, such as not being able to decide what to eat or constantly doubting choices. This can result in spending excessive time making decisions for fear of making the wrong choice. This behaviour can sometimes be linked to a need for validation from others, as the person seeks approval for their decisions,” says Kaul.

Well, how to avoid being indecisive?

Acceptance is the first step. Willpower is what you need next to improve your decision-making skills. There are several expert-approved strategies that can transform your decision-making skills.

Kaul says, “From a holistic perspective, this involves understanding your goals and values. It is helpful to sit down and decide what you want in life and what direction you want to take. This comprehensive understanding can provide a framework for decision-making.” Whether it is a project you are working on or any other important aspect of life, it is better to know your top priorities and long-term goals.

After taking any decision, make it a habit to reflect on its results and analyze it. See what went well and what could have been better.

When making a decision, remember the following:

Make a list of the pros and cons: Making a list of pros and cons and then ranking or assigning a weight to each item can provide clarity. Quantifying aspects of your decision can make it easier to reach a conclusion. This is one of the strategies that Noida-based psychologist Shreya Kaul uses on her clients.

Don’t take advice from too many people: Indecisiveness can also be controlled by limiting the number of people you seek advice from. Seeking advice from too many people can create confusion and upset you. Just seek advice from two trusted people.

Set a deadline: Set deadlines to avoid procrastinating. “Setting a deadline for making a decision, especially for big decisions, can help you be more decisive,” says Kaul.

Limit your options: Reduce the number of options to simplify the decision-making process and prevent overload.

The 10/10/10 Rule: Vaishali Arora, a clinical psychologist at Lisun mental health platform, suggests, “When making a decision, ask yourself, ‘How will I feel about this in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years?’ This helps you get out of the momentary stress and get a long-term perspective.”

Acknowledge the small decisions you make every day: “Remember, we’re making decisions all the time; we just don’t always recognize them as such because they’re not big choices,” says Kaul. Whether it’s getting up in the morning, or deciding what to eat—these are all decisions you make.