Don’t judge my grief by the tears you can’t see: S Janaki’s granddaughter in touching note
S Janaki’s granddaughter posted a note asking people not to judge her grief by her tears after the singer’s death. He said the loss is extremely personal, remembering his late sister Varsha and talking about the pain of public scrutiny.
After the death of famous singer S Janaki on July 11, her granddaughter, Apsara Vidyula, wrote an emotional note, asking people not to measure her grief by the tears they see or don’t see. In an emotional Instagram post, she reflected on losing both her grandmother and older sister, saying that grief is extremely personal and cannot be judged by external manifestations.
She wrote that she had received comments questioning why she did not appear emotional in public after the death of her grandmother S Janaki.
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He wrote, “In the last few days, I have seen people questioning my sadness because they don’t see tears in my eyes. Please don’t measure my love for my grandmother by the tears you see or don’t see.”
Explaining why he chose to process the loss differently, he said that Janaki had taught the family to understand death from a spiritual perspective.
He said, “Especially through her, I was taught to understand death from a deeply spiritual place. She taught us that love doesn’t end when life ends. My experiences have made me stronger than I ever wanted. Grief isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet, still, and deeply personal.”
The note also remembered his elder sister Varsha, who died in August 2023. Calling Varsha her grandmother’s “favorite person in the world”, she said the two shared an extraordinary bond.
He wrote, “My grandmother’s favorite person in the world was my elder sister Varsha. They were so much alike. They understood each other in a way that words could never fully explain. They were made for each other in every sense of the word.”
He said that Varsha should have taken care of her grandmother today.
She posted, “I don’t want the world to forget that Varsha was the one who should have stood where I am today, taking care of our grandmother and doing everything that now falls on me. She passed away in August 2023, and our family will never be able to get over that loss.”
Taking solace in the thought that the two were reunited, she wrote, “The only consolation I get is knowing that they are together again.”
Her post also addressed the challenges of grieving under public scrutiny.
He wrote, “Living in the public eye often means living with the rumors, speculation, and stories that others make up about your life. It can be painful to watch people form judgments about a family they never knew.”
Remembering S. Janaki beyond her famous musical legacy, he described her as “gentle, kind, extremely humble and completely free of judgment”, and said that both Janaki and Varsha had an “infectious child-like spirit” that attracted people to them.
He concluded, “They’re together now. And somehow, that thought gives me peace.”
About S Janaki
Veteran playback singer S Janaki died on July 11 at the age of 88 after suffering multiple cardiac arrests while undergoing treatment at a private hospital in Mysore. A day later, on 12 July, in keeping with his last wish, he was cremated with full state honors at his farmhouse in Kaniyanahundi, Mysore. Thousands of fans, musicians, actors and political leaders paid their last tribute to him.