Sunday, December 8, 2024
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Can becoming your child’s ‘soulmate’ backfire?

by PratapDarpan
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Can becoming your child’s ‘soulmate’ backfire?

Parents today want to be more involved in their children’s lives, leading to an increase in close parenting. But can getting too involved cause problems?

Excessive involvement may cause the child to see the parent as an equal rather than an authority figure (Photo: Pexels/Tatiana Sirikova)

in short

  • In soulmate parenting, one parent plays multiple roles
  • By doing this a deep emotional bond develops with the child.
  • Soulmate parenting is beneficial, but it’s important to maintain balance

We live in an age where openly expressing emotions has become the norm and this change has significantly influenced modern parenting. Gone are the days when fathers would sit on the sidelines with a straight face and watch mothers take charge of child care. Today, fathers actively embrace fatherhood, sharing the joys, challenges and moments of child-rearing with mothers – and sometimes even taking the lead.

This wave of free-flowing emotions has brought parents closer to their children, giving rise to soulmate parenting, where both parents are deeply involved in every aspect of their child’s life.

But could getting too involved inadvertently harm your relationship with your child?

Understanding Soulmate Parenting

Psychologist Sumalatha Vasudeva of Gleneagles BGS Hospital, Bengaluru explains India Today Soulmate parenting is a modern approach where parents take on multiple roles to develop a deep emotional connection with their child.

“The parent serves as a best friend, providing companionship and reassurance; a sensitive listener, understanding the child’s feelings without judgment; a cheerleader, providing encouragement and motivation; and a diagnostician. , recognize and address the child’s developmental and emotional needs,” she explains. ,

Additionally, Dr Rahul Chandhok, principal consultant, mental health and behavioral sciences, Artemis Hospital, Gurugram, says that this style of parenting is not just about developing strong bonds. It is about providing children with emotional resilience and self-awareness.

When balanced with appropriate boundaries, this approach fosters a nurturing environment that can support emotional and intellectual development.

Why are parents loving it?

The growing popularity of soulmate parenting can be attributed to its alignment with the growing emphasis on emotional intelligence and open communication in relationships.

Parents today are more aware of the need for a safe and nurturing environment that fosters their child’s self-expression and individuality.

This style of parenting is also seen as a response to the increasing challenges facing children, such as mental health issues and social pressures, leading parents to take a more supportive and involved role .

Dr Chandhok says the new generation of parents, especially Millennials and Gen Z, are striving to build deep emotional bonds with their children while managing the complexities of modern life.

Soulmate parenting fosters a deep emotional bond
Soulmate parenting fosters a deep emotional bond (Photo: Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio)

Adding to this, Sumalatha Vasudeva highlighted Key Principles of Soulmate Parenting,

  • empathy and active listening: Being emotionally available and validating the child’s feelings.
  • positive reinforcement: Celebrating achievements and building self-confidence.
  • holistic support: Addressing physical, mental and emotional well-being.
  • non-judgmental communication:Ensuring open communication to build trust.
  • collaborative problem-solving: Working with the child to overcome challenges. Parents’ Role in Soulmate Parenting

Every additional role parents play affects the child In different ways:

As a best friend, the parent builds trust and reduces fear of judgment, encouraging the child to share his or her thoughts and feelings openly. However, giving too much priority to friendship can blur the boundaries.

Meanwhile, as a sensitive listener, the child feels understood and validated, which enhances emotional regulation and self-esteem. The parent instills confidence and motivation in the child as a cheerleader.

Finally, as a diagnostician, parents recognize emotional, behavioral or developmental concerns early, ensuring timely intervention and support.

Why is it beneficial to be your child’s life partner?

According to Dr. Chandhok, soulmate parenting strengthens the parent-child bond. Adopting different roles creates a nurturing environment where children feel safe to share their thoughts, fears and aspirations without fear of judgement.

He further explains that the benefits of soulmate parenting are wide-ranging, which can improve emotional security and allow children to develop a positive sense of self-worth and resilience.

Parents will also be more aware of their child’s needs and feelings, allowing them to support them effectively. This type of parenting promotes positive reinforcement for the child, leading to greater confidence and motivation in their activities.

This style of parenting promotes a balanced, healthy relationship where the child feels loved and understood.

Not only this, but soulmate parenting benefits the child psychologically by promoting emotional intelligence and self-esteem, making them resilient. The different roles played by parents create an environment where children are valued, understood and supported. This strengthens their self-confidence and encourages healthy emotional expression.

Children raised in such parenting structures are more likely to have strong coping skills, secure attachments, and empathy.

but there are issues

While soulmate parenting creates strong emotional bonds, it can pose risks if boundaries are not maintained.

Sumalatha Vasudeva warns that excessive involvement can hinder a child’s independence. And, relying too heavily on parents for approval can weaken a child’s resilience.

Blurring the boundaries can lead to a loss of parental authority, while overprotection can result in overdependence.

If not properly balanced, spiritual parenting can have negative effects
If not balanced properly, soulmate parenting can have negative effects (Photo: Pexels/Ketut Subiont)

Parents may also experience burnout, as the constant emotional connection is lost. Additionally, this style of parenting may set unrealistic expectations for the child, leaving them unprepared to cope when the parent is unavailable.

A delicate balance is necessary. While emotional support is important, being overly generous or lacking authority can create challenges related to discipline, respect for boundaries, and accountability. Overindulgence can also lead to role confusion, where the child sees the parent as his equal rather than an authority figure.

What do experts recommend?

Sumalatha Vasudeva and Dr. Rahul Chandhok both support soulmate parenting but stress the importance of balance.

Dr. Chandhok says, “Effective soulmate parenting must be balanced with boundaries and structure to not only foster emotional connection and resiliency but also maintain children’s authority to foster discipline and healthy independence “

Vasudev concludes, “Soulmate parenting should complement, not replace, traditional parenting principles of discipline, responsibility, and independence.”

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