12th Fail director Vidhu Vinod Chopra recalls the moment he wanted to ‘kill himself’; Says, ‘I was standing on a highway in Lonavala…’

Trigger warning: This article contains references to suicide

Vidhu Vinod Chopra, who made his directorial debut with a short film in 1976, is one of India’s most prominent filmmakers. Recently, the filmmaker opened up about the dark phase in his life when he wanted to kill himself after the release of his first full-length feature film, Sajaaye Maut Ki. At that point in his life he became disillusioned and stood near the moving trucks in Lonavala, but his love for his family forced him to step back.

In a new interview with NDTV, Vidhu Vinod Chopra discusses his recent release Zero Se Restart and recalls the lowest point of his life. The director mentioned that he described his lowest point in his book Unscripted when he wanted to kill himself. Chopra revealed that his emotions were so intense that he was standing near moving trucks a moment away from taking a serious step.

He shared, “You know, there was a time when I wanted to kill myself. I was so frustrated with life. I was standing next to trucks parked on a highway in Lonavala, and all I could do was take a step. Was and could have died.” But it was my love for my family that kept me going.”

However, the director and filmmaker admits that he was disillusioned after the release of his first full-length feature film, Sazaye Maut Ki, starring Naseeruddin Shah. He was writing his next film Khamosh, which later became one of the most notable films of that time, and the filmmaker started making his living from that moment.

Vidhu made his directorial debut with a short film, Murder at Monkey Hill. He directed popular films like Khamosh, 1942: A Love Story, Mission Kashmir and Shikara. He has also produced popular films like Munna Bhai MBBS, PK, 3 Idiots and Sanju.

In 2024, the filmmaker directed Vikrant Massey starrer 12th Fail. The film was critically acclaimed and was a box office hit. Also, a documentary on its making was released in theaters on December 13, 2024.

Disclaimer: If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, anxiety, going through depression, or suffering from any serious mental illness, seek immediate help from the nearest doctor, mental health specialist or Contact an NGO. There are many helplines available for the same.