Guests invited to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding didn’t have to worry about choosing the perfect gift.According to the BBC, the couple adopted a “no gifts” policy, joining the growing number of modern couples who are asking family and friends to simply join in on the festivities rather than spend money on wedding gifts. Instead of traditional gift registries filled with household items, many invitations now feature a simple message: “Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund.”For guests, replacing the gift list with bank transfer details often raises a different question. How much amount is appropriate to give?
Cash gifts are becoming more common
Wedding listing service Prezzola says she’s seen more couples asking guests to contribute towards specific experiences rather than putting money into a general cash fund.Instead of purchasing kitchen appliances or household items, guests can help pay for activities like romantic dinners, spa treatments or excursions during the honeymoon.According to the company, the average guest contributes approximately £116. The amount people choose to give depends on their relationship with the couple, cultural expectations, and how much has already been spent to attend the wedding.
Guests spend as much as they can afford
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie usually give between £250 and £400, depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what their financial situation allows at the time. “We don’t have that many friends, so it’s nice to give generously,” he says.When Johnny got married, most of the close friends contributed between £100 and £200. One couple gave £400, while her father gave a gift of £2,000 to the newlyweds.The money went toward the couple’s 17-day honeymoon in Canada.Despite receiving generous gifts, Johnny says he and his wife had already budgeted for the trip “because it’s not worth the risk of being dependent on donations”.
QR codes instead of wrapped gifts
Not everyone believes that wedding gifts should cost hundreds of pounds.Hannah Rose-Thorne, 30, says she “always gives £50 in a card”, which is also the average contribution guests make to their own honeymoon fund.Instead of a gift table, Hannah and her partner made donating easy.“We mentioned money on our invitations and even created print-out QR codes for people to scan at the bar,” she says.Their guests contributed approximately £3,000, which the couple planned to use during the honeymoon to cover spending money they had already paid for.According to UK wedding planning website Hitched, the average British couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.Even after requesting cash, Hannah still received traditional gifts.
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“At work I got a bunch of champagne and some flute glasses from my boss, which were nice, but we have a lot of them so it’s likely we’ll get it again,” she says.Jonny says that some guests simply prefer to give something that feels more personal to them.“They mean well,” he says, “but it probably just means you’ll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we got, as well as some physical gifts.”
‘Nobody wants that random dish’
Bride-to-be Chelsea Chivers believes cash gifts have become the new normal.“Some people see money as impersonal and think it’s weird to give it but now it’s kind of become the norm, so either don’t give anything or give money.“Nobody wants that random dish.”When friends get married, Chelsea usually gives around £200 and even more for close family members.She says that circumstances also matter. When a friend hosted a wedding in South Africa, the guests had already spent thousands of pounds traveling there, so she did not feel any additional gifts were necessary.She also admits that she and her partner rarely agree on how much to contribute.“He’ll pay £50 if he’s released,” she says.
Some guests still prefer personalized gifts
Not everyone agrees that transferring money is the best way to celebrate a wedding.Ollie Hickey, 28, has contributed £30 to £50 to several honeymoon funds, but says they feel “a bit impersonal”.“I like the idea that you can make some specific connection with someone who has shared their day with you, rather than with a pile of money,” he says.Although she is not engaged, Ollie and her partner have already discussed what they would ask for if they got married.As avid record collectors, they hope each guest will bring a vinyl record that means something to them.He says it will “become a part of the people who are a part of our special day”.
Wedding gifts cost more than honeymoon gifts
Cash gifts aren’t always spent on holidays.Roxy Westwood got married in Antigua and says she “didn’t expect any gifts”, but guests still contributed around £100 per couple.This money, originally intended for the honeymoon, eventually helped raise funds for IVF treatment.“We hoped we would conceive naturally, but we started trying too early before our wedding and it just didn’t happen,” she says.When “reality set in”, using the money for IVF felt like the right decision.She says the contributions covered a large portion of the treatment costs and she is grateful to friends and relatives for “playing a role” in bringing her son into the world.
Honeymoon fund?
26 year old Georgia Finch also chose a different path.Instead of asking for contributions for the honeymoon, he requested funds to renovate his loft.About 80 guests contributed £2,500, which she calls “amazing” and paid for almost half of the project.As a wedding guest, Georgia loves giving money, especially when couples allow guests to pay for specific honeymoon experiences like scuba diving, a luxury breakfast or a couples massage.Still, she says her own budget is limited.“The maximum I would personally give to a fund at the moment is £20 as money is tight right now.”
Culture can shape expectations
Wedding gift customs may also vary from country to country.Ewa Lewczyk-Howes says Polish relatives typically donated between £250 and £400 to her wedding, while her husband’s English friends and family usually contributed about £100 per couple.“But it comes with different expectations,” she says.She explains that Polish weddings often involve large celebrations with elaborate meals, an open bar, and accommodation arrangements for guests.“In the UK, guests are more likely to spend that money on travel, hotels, taxis and other expenses,” she says.