Casual mockery of a woman’s limitations is not comedy, it is a cultural move that shames every man trying to do better.

Have you ever felt that quiet discomfort when conversations between men suddenly reduce every conversation with a woman to one question: “How do I get her into bed?” That familiar uneasiness hit me hard after watching the viral clip of Pranit More’s Gurugram stand-up show and Madhur Virali’s joke about raping a woman. As a journalism student who has filed RTIs for gender sensitization in high schools, criminalization of marital rape, and legal recognition of LGBTQI+ marriages, I have spent years trying to understand women as full human beings – their boundaries, their consent, their emotions.

Growing up among strong, independent women – my scientist mother, sisters and aunts – has deeply shaped me. Growing up in a household where women unapologetically exercised financial and social autonomy, I learned early to value their dignity, agency, and voice. My mother didn’t just inspire me to pursue a successful career; She instilled in me a deep sense of responsibility to be a good person who respects women’s autonomy in every walk of life. That upbringing has made me feel naturally closer to respecting women’s emotional and physical boundaries. This is why these incidents make me feel really humiliated and embarrassed.

These people on stage were not sharing any strange incident. One proudly described spending Rs 370 on biryani, then putting his hand in a woman’s leggings despite hesitation and revealing intimate physical details without any remorse, while another joked about men raping women and later murdering them. In both incidents, these ‘comedians’ were comfortable turning a woman’s emotional and sexual agency into public entertainment.

In both incidents, the men’s comments openly celebrated coercion as a clever, ridiculous, and manly thing to do.

The crowd roared its approval. While Pranit More called it “peak Gurgaon material” and awarded him an award, Madhur Virali has repeatedly found audiences for similar jokes that normalize misogyny, sexual violence and rape-culture thinking. Without the outrage on social media, both of these incidents would have been laughed off as jokes. This easy acceptance exposes a deeply distorted mindset – one that limits every inter-gender relationship, whether a date or friendly conversation, to the constant possibility of sexual intimacy.

This isn’t just bad humor. It treats women’s bodies as objects and their persistence despite denial is something to be celebrated. It makes fun of her right to say ‘no’ and violates her dignity for cheap laughs. According to the latest NCRB data, more than 4.41 lakh crimes against women were recorded in India in 2024, including nearly 30,000 rape cases. These numbers reflect the grim reality behind the jokes. Women have struggled with oppression, exploitation, discrimination and trauma for years. Men like me – who read, listen, apologize when we make mistakes, and actively work to respect boundaries – ultimately suffer collective shaming. We are forced to rebuild the trust that is broken in such moments.

And I can’t help but ask myself uncomfortable questions. If I were sitting in that audience, would the women in my life feel safe knowing that I laughed? If my mother, who taught me to respect women, heard those cheers, what would she think? If my sisters were in that room, would they see the humor, or would they see a crowd celebrating the erosion of their dignity?

As a man, what displeases me most is not just what is said on stage. The ease with which this has been said. Self-confidence. The certainty that a room full of people will laugh. That confidence comes from somewhere. It comes from a culture that has repeatedly taught men that a woman’s discomfort is negotiable, that her refusal is a challenge, and that her body is public property for discussion, judgment, and conquest.

I find this extremely insulting. Not as a commentator or journalist. As a man. Because every time another guy turns force into comedy, I feel like the work of thousands of decent people is being pushed to the back burner. We spend years learning and learning, listening and trying to improve, only to get someone on stage, turn women into a joke for applause and clicks on social media, and in the process reinforce the stereotype of “most men”, if not “all men”.

Both issues have sparked widespread outrage over the normalization of sexual violence in comedy. The pattern is clear and deeply disturbing.

Pranit More and Himanshu Jangra have apologized calling it an error in judgment. Yet an apology, no matter how belated, does little to undo the damage. They cannot erase that mentality, which received thunderous applause at the time and faced scrutiny only after a huge public reaction.

Think about the ripple effects. When such videos go viral, not only the person’s family feels embarrassed. Every sister, mother or daughter wonders about the male members in their household. What kind of mentality do the men around you have – no matter what age they are? Is that casual possession hidden at family dinners or friendly gatherings? Now is the time for families to collectively stop and consider: Where are the thinking of our sons, brothers, husbands and fathers really headed? This conversation should happen not only on social media but also at home.

The same pattern continues in co-educational colleges, offices and everyday life. Pop culture has nurtured this for decades – with songs and movies that glorify hyper-sexuality and assertiveness as the path to “winning” a woman. Subtle messages tell boys that a friendly smile or shared meal should naturally lead to sexual overreach. Without deep sensitivity, this distorted lens continues to inform how many men view relationships.

So where does this leave us? Celebrating abuse of women cannot be entertainment. It holds back real progress and makes the prospect of new beginnings feel exhausting. Men must expose this sense of entitlement within our own circles – not demonstratively, but honestly – because it undermines our own efforts and disrespects the women we care about. There is strength in comedy; It may challenge or reinforce old viewpoints. Glorifying a transactional mentality doesn’t help anyone.

As a man, I’m tired of being told it’s just a joke. No, it is not. A joke tells us what society is willing to laugh at. And when the laughter comes from violating a woman’s boundaries, mocking consent, or trivializing rape, it tells us something deeply troubling about the values ​​being normalized in front of thousands of people. The problem isn’t that people are offended, the problem is that too many people are entertained.

There is nothing rebellious, radical or courageous about physically confining women and consenting to any discomfort. This is lazy and regressive. Also, frankly, it’s pathetic. No society can claim to have progressed while cheering the public humiliation of women and then hiding in the defense of comedy. If your joke depends on a woman losing her agency, the joke isn’t on her. It’s on us – on men.

Real equality begins by addressing the root: the objectification of women’s bodies and emotional agency. It starts with families thinking together, men holding each other accountable, and a culture that chooses respect over easy banter. The question cannot be whether these comedians have crossed any limits. they did. The bigger question is why so many people were comfortable standing on the same side of that line with him. Unless we face it honestly, we’re not just watching comedy. We are seeing the public normalization of attitudes that women have fought to avoid for generations.