Do you know someone who frequently shares cryptic posts on their social media platforms that suggest something is not right in their life, or that they are hurting? It could be some vague post about not being loved, a selfie from the hospital, targeted quotes, or just a series of sad songs. Although it is common for people to express their pain on social media, when they present an exaggerated picture through their posts with the sole intention of attracting attention or gaining sympathy, it is called ‘sadfishing’.

For example, after a fight with their partner, a sadfisher may post a story suggesting that they are on the verge of a breakup. Or, someone might post about feeling lonely simply because their friends declined their invitation to hang out this weekend. Have you ever messaged someone out of concern after seeing that they deleted their WhatsApp profile picture? You’ve probably been ‘sadfished’.

“Sadfishing refers to the act of posting exaggerated or dramatic personal struggles on social media in the form of quotes or videos to gain attention, sympathy or even recognition,” says Delhi-based therapist Ruchi Ruh. “

Sadfishing and mental health

This trend of social media is especially prevalent among teenagers and young persons. People with low self-esteem or inadequate offline support systems are also more likely to practice this tendency.

“Getting attention or sympathy is the main reason people do this. However, sometimes teenagers may also do it to boast to their friends that they can fool the society or that a lot of people are worried about them,” says Dr., vice-chairman, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, New Delhi. Psychiatry) says Dr. Rajeev Mehta.

The increasing reliance on digital platforms to make social media connections is also one of the reasons why people engage in sadfishing.

“Man is a social animal, and he always expects society around him. But as we move ahead in the 21st century, they are becoming lonely. The virtual world has become the real world; To overcome that loneliness and express their feelings, people share such posts on the internet,” says Dr Mehta.

According to them, individuals with borderline personality traits or who have fewer social friends than virtual friends, and those who mostly stick to the digital world, are more likely to be sadfish on social media. Such people are also more prone to anxiety, depression and loneliness.

Did you know that sandfishing has also been used as a marketing ploy by many celebrities? In 2019, Kendall Jenner posted about her struggle with acne, and it eventually became part of a marketing campaign. This was when the term sadfishing was coined as a journalist Metro Used it in their article covering marketing stunts.

Sadfishing is also common in relationships. It mostly exists when direct communication between partners is weak, indicating a lack of emotional security or trust.

“This may look like posting exaggerated emotional struggles online rather than communicating directly with a partner,” says Ruchi Ruh. Taking to social media for sympathy can lead to unnecessary misunderstandings in the relationship.

In some cases, sadfishing can actually be beneficial as it helps in finding support and can help with mental health when the person is actively working towards finding a solution to their issue. It can also provide an outlet or temporary relief to really troubled people.

“In other cases, it may become a mechanism to sidestep real issues and find real solutions through professional help. This can make individuals dependent on vague external validation. Sadfishing on a regular basis can lead to backlash, suspicion, or bullying. This can worsen feelings of rejection and isolation, says Ruh.

However, is there any way to identify sandfishing?

A series of emotional posts can sometimes be a plea for help. If you are really confused and worried, it is better to talk to the person.

“The idea is not to shame someone who is struggling, but also not to get carried away by it. True calls for help often lead to actionable steps like asking for support, says Ruh, while attention-grabbing posts may lack follow-up.

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Meanwhile, she also shares some ways you can recognize if someone is sandfishing on social media:

• Posts often lack clear description or context about the issue and appear empty and vague.

• Regular dramatic or overly emotional posts without any actionable solutions. The posts seem inauthentic and devoid of substance.

• It seems like the posts are designed to attract comments or reactions rather than actually asking for help.

• Issues don’t seem so serious when they are followed by happy posts or when they are partying or having fun with friends.

Dealing with Sadfishing

Dealing with sadfishers, especially when you are unsure of their intentions, can be difficult. You don’t want to hurt anyone but you also don’t want to be manipulated.

Experts say that the first attempt should be to talk to the person and understand the intensity of the incident/situation. “Counsel the person accordingly. If their intention was just to get attention, ask them to face reality and explain to them that this is not a matter of boasting or fooling others. Otherwise, when they really need help, no one will step forward, just like the classic tale of the boy who cried wolf,” says Dr Mehta.

You might also suggest therapy or counseling if the struggles become real and frequent.

Finally, remember Ruchi Ruh’s suggestion: “Sometimes if it all feels repetitive and manipulative, it’s best to set boundaries; Empathy is good, but attention-seeking behavior should not be enabled.