Irritability. Some people blame their genes for this, while others blame their zodiac signs for this (Are you listening, Aries and Scorpios?) However, these frequent fits of anger—manifested through unprovoked yelling, explosive outbursts, passive aggression, and physical attacks—cause more harm than good.

Although it’s never a pleasant experience for the recipient, even irritable people suffer from not being able to control their emotions. Imagine lashing out at someone very close to you for some minor inconvenience, only to be unable to control your anger, and then struggling with the guilt that follows.

This behavior can end friendships, cause marriages to fail, and even get you a termination letter from your job.

In short, irritability negatively impacts a person’s physical health, relationships, and professional life, and often indicates underlying psychological distress.

Effects on your health

Dr Rahul Chandok, Principal Consultant, Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Artemis Hospital, Gurugram, explains, “Persistent anger and irritability increase stress levels, which can lead to chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, heart disease and a weakened immune system. Mentally, it can lead to anxiety, depression and feelings of guilt or shame, which further aggravate irritability.” People also suffer from isolation and loneliness as irritability affects their interpersonal relationships.

“The inability to effectively manage anger can create a cycle of negative emotions and physical symptoms, leading to a lower overall quality of life. In the long run, this can lead to serious health problems and decreased emotional well-being,” says Dr Chandhok.

Yet, many angry people don’t even try to work on the issue and instead accept it as part of their identity. Should it be? Absolutely not! Is there anything you can do to stop being angry? Yes, absolutely.

However, the first step is acceptance and a willingness to change.

Why are some people irritable?

But before that, let’s understand why some people are so short-tempered. It is a combination of many things, and genetics is also a reason (NGL,

“There is no single cause that applies to everyone. There are multiple factors at play. It is usually a mix of the bio-psycho-social model,” explains Dr Ira Dutta (MD Psychiatry, DNB, MBBS), founder and consultant psychiatrist at Kolkata-based Mind Wellness. india today,

Biological causes:

• Genetics Causes
• Physical factors such as hunger, sleep, fatigue
• Neurochemicals like adrenaline, cortisol, and dopamine hijack our brains during these short anger outbursts
• Medical problems such as thyroid imbalances, blood sugar fluctuations, or brain injury can affect emotional responses

Psychological reasons:

• Some personalities, such as Cluster B (antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, marginalized personality) are more aggressive
• Difficulty regulating emotions due to past trauma history, underlying psychological issues
• Some individuals have low frustration tolerance, meaning they get annoyed easily (you can learn skills to increase your frustration tolerance)
• People who have not developed effective mechanisms for dealing with frustration or conflict

Social reasons:

“External stressors such as noise, heat, traffic, arguments and difficult life situations also trigger anger,” says Dr. Dutta.

Additionally, psychological conditions such as intermittent explosive disorder may also be a cause.

Dr. Dutta says, “IED is a mental health condition that involves frequent, intense outbursts of anger and aggression that are disproportionate to the situation. People with IED have outbursts of anger that can range from verbal aggression to physical violence, and these incidents can cause significant distress or impairment in their personal and professional lives.”

What is an angry temperament like?

Excessive anger beyond flaring up at someone can lead to physical altercation and it can also be hidden behind silence or passive aggression.

Dr Neerja Agarwal, psychologist and co-founder of mental health platform Emoniids, explains what irritability typically looks like:

• Frequent irritability: Becoming upset or angry over minor inconveniences.
• explosion: Sudden, intense anger that may involve yelling, swearing, or physical actions.
• Impatience: Difficulty waiting for things to happen or for others to react.
• Anger: Holding grudges against others and repeatedly feeling that they have been wronged.
• Restlessness: Difficulty staying calm or concentrated.

saying goodbye to it

Anger can be fixed, but only if you want to fix it. Learning to manage it better often involves a combination of self-awareness, behavioral strategies, and sometimes professional help.

Dr Achal Bhagat, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Indraprastha Apollo Hospitals and Chairman of Sarthak, Psychiatric and Mental Health Services, offers the following tips for controlling anger:

• Practicing self-awareness and acknowledging problems
• Recognizing triggers and noticing patterns
• engaging in relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation
• using cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to challenge negative thoughts and behaviors
• develop problem solving skills and learn alternative responses to situations
• engage in regular exercise and physical activity to reduce stress and anxiety
• getting social support from friends, family, or a therapist

A golden tip: Empathize before you react and postpone your response. Before you get overcome by the irrationality of your anger, take a moment to think about the matter you are quarreling over. Ask yourself if it affected you so much that it will still have an impact a year later? Just the effort of taking the time to think about it will help prevent that unreasonable anger.

Dealing with an angry person is not easy. It is not an overnight journey that you can walk alone. You will need support, consistency, and a strong reason to grow.

According to Dr. Dutta, people who want to control their anger should:

• Acceptance and self-awareness
• Acknowledgement
• The real reason and will to change
• Toolkit of Anger Management Skills
• constant effort and endeavour
• a supportive caring person

You can also try the CALM technique, which Dr. Dutta shares with her young clients.

C – Count to ten

Before you react, take a moment to slowly count to ten. This brief pause can help you calm down and think more clearly.

A – Assess the situation

Consider what caused your anger and whether your reaction is proportionate. Understanding the situation helps you respond more effectively.

L – Find the solution

Instead of focusing on what’s bothering you, shift your focus to finding creative solutions or ways to solve the problem.

M – Manage your emotions

Use techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness to regulate your emotional state.

Dr Dutta says, “Don’t look at yourself as an angry person. Know it, accept it, but don’t take it as your identity. Call yourself a ‘work in progress’ rather than something you lack. Learn to be empathetic to your angry loved ones and you can start looking at the whole world differently. Empathy is the solution.”

Controlling anger requires effort, patience, and support, but it is worth it – if not for anything else, then mainly for your overall well-being. After all, it can help keep blood pressure and heart diseases at bay.