Why pre-marriage counseling in India needs to be non-perfect
Neither men nor women want to attend an inconsistent marriage today or, if things go to the south, just accept it as their fate. Things are changing, developing for better, which is why, now more than ever, pre-marriage consultation should be non-paralysis in India.
In India, the divorce rate is at an all -time high. And suppose that you dig a bit deep in reasons. In that case, which actually stands out, it is: more and more couples are no longer correct with facing heavy challenges coming with the wedding. Today women are self -sufficient, financially independent, and are fully capable of creating life on their own. Therefore, they are no longer an injustice in a wedding. They are standing, speaking outside, and when things become toxic then walk away.
Let’s face this- when it comes to weddings in India, we spend months in the month’s venue, Lehega’s right shade, cure guest lists, finalizing dinner menu, throwing countless parties and even planning a honeymoon. But rarely we stop asking: Are we ready for marriage emotionally and mentally?
Neither men nor women want to attend an inconsistent marriage today or, if things go to the south, just accept it as their fate. Things are changing, developing for better, which is why, now more than ever, pre-marriage consultation should be non-paralysis in India.
Love is important, but not enough
“Gives love during a difficult time to accommodate a new family or share responsibilities, but one who actually does marriage work is the ability to grow through those changes in the form of a team. Love needs to be supported by emotional maturity, mutual respect and communication,” says “Shalu Chawla, a Delhi -based matchmaker and the founder. Make my rent (Matchmaking service). ,
Dr. Rajendra Mor retired from Army Medical Corps and now agrees to a counselor in Oasis Counselor. “Only love cannot maintain a healthy marriage. Faith, respect, helping nature, standing for each other – these are materials that actually marry together.”
Therefore, if we know that marriage is much higher than just butterflies and a shared playlist, then why are we not preparing couples for this reality?
Indian reference: where families marry, not only people
We really do not have to go further about the way of marriage functions in India, because till now everyone knows that the best Indian has to marry not your concerned partner but also to their families. This is a complete-developed social system-two families, two price systems, two lifestyle are coming together. This is why India needs pre-marital counseling.
“As a counselor, we help the couples look beyond the romantic lens of the wedding,” Chawla says. “Many young movies or social media go to the wedding with the expectations of the size. They are not always ready for daily pieces-to accommodate finance, new family dynamics, or long-term compatibility.”
Expect versus reality: final relationship curveball
One of the main reasons is the expectations of marriage stumbling are misunderstood. Who is managing money? What is the meaning of intimacy for each person? What role will each partner play in the family structure? Who takes the kitchen responsibilities? Whether or not the option to live with the family – the list may run. This is why many people suggest to be together before taking big jump. But due to moral reasons, many look down on this option, and it leaves you with a resort-Puva-marriage consultation.
“Sometimes, people have unrealistic or even strange expectations from their colleagues,” Dr. Peacock says. “Counseling helps to solve those people logically and cognitively. It brings clarity and often highlights deep needs or insecurity that were not spoken about before.”
Chawla says, “Everyone brings their own version of what the marriage should look like. But when the couples sit in a counseling session, it becomes easy to identify where those versions have been overlaps – and where they don’t do,” says Chawla.
Dr. Peacocks throw light on another important layer: variety. “India is an incredibly diverse nation-people with different religions, regions and family structures. When two people of different backgrounds come together, their worldwide people can collide. Pre-marriage consultation becomes a place where those hidden or unriding differences can be safely detected.”
Questions that matter (and they are not about marriage)
So, the couple should actually ask each other before tying the knot?
Dr. Peacocks suggest asking these questions:
- Is it physical attraction or real, durable love?
- Can I accept this person for life, strength and faults?
- Have I accepted this person logically and emotionally forever?
- Have I discovered all practical aspects – family, finance, hidden red flags?
Chawla brings to its top three:
- What are your long -term personal and professional goals?
- How do we handle struggle or emotional disagreement?
- What do we have expectations from family roles, finance and daily life?
Pre -or marriage consultation: When is the right time?
“Before marriage, 100%,” Dr. Peacock said without any hesitation. “There is no use to regret after marriage. It is better to find out every aspect of your future life with the help of a counselor – before you signed the papers.”
After marriage counseling can also help, especially during crisis points. But think about pre -marriage consultation because you are getting a crash course that you are going to do – a small prep that can set a long way.