Pregnancy dilemma: When is it safe to have sex?
Couples often wonder if they should have sex during the nine months of pregnancy. Learn from experts how intimate you should be.
In short
- Intimacy during pregnancy promotes emotional bonding and supports the dynamics of the couple’s relationship
- Experts say it’s generally safe to have sex during pregnancy
- However, it’s important to communicate
The journey of becoming parents is a special and transformative time for any couple. However, they often forget the importance of nurturing their relationship while preparing for the arrival of a new member in the family.
Many couples face intimacy issues during these nine months. Some attribute it to hormonal changes and mood swings, while others feel apprehensive due to lack of information.
It is important to understand that maintaining physical intimacy during pregnancy is important for both partners. This connection helps strengthen your bond and support emotional well-being, creating a healthy and happy environment for your growing family.
“Intimacy during pregnancy enhances emotional attachment and supports the couple’s relationship dynamics. Engaging in physical closeness can strengthen bonds, increase trust and strengthen emotional support between partners,” explained Dr Neerja Agarwal, psychologist and co-founder of Emonides. india today,
Dr. Agarwal further explains that maintaining intimacy can help reduce stress and anxiety for both partners, and promote a sense of well-being and stability during this transformative time.
For the pregnant partner, intimacy may also contribute to a positive self-image and provide reassurance of their attractiveness and desirability.
Plus, intimacy releases the “love hormone” called oxytocin, which can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.
The big question: Is it safe?
Dr Apoorva Gupta, obstetrician and gynaecologist at Daffodils by Artemis, Delhi, says, “In most uncomplicated pregnancies, sex is perfectly safe during all trimesters. The amniotic sac and strong uterine muscles protect your baby.”
Dr Hemandin Jayaraman, Obstetrician and Gynecologist at Manipal Hospital, Bengaluru, agrees and says, “It is generally safe to have sex during pregnancy. Though there are certain precautions to be taken, the notion of avoiding sex during this period is a complete myth that needs to be busted.”
However, doctors point out that the highest risk of pregnancy loss or miscarriage occurs in the first trimester, so you probably don’t want any additional factors contributing to this risk.
“Sometimes, pregnant women may have undiagnosed bleeding beneath the placental development, called a subchorionic bleed. If left undiagnosed, this small blood clot at the implantation site can grow larger with strenuous physical activity, including deep penetration or vigorous sex, increasing the risk of miscarriage,” explains Dr. Jayaraman.
Additionally, if a partner is a carrier of an infection, it can spread, so it is best to avoid intercourse in the first trimester. However, after that, there are no contraindications to having intercourse unless otherwise advised by the doctor due to specific risk factors.
How intimate should you be?
Dr Gupta says there is no one answer to the level of intimacy by trimester. It is a personal choice based on comfort and communication.
However, here’s a general guide:
- First Trimester: Focus on hugging, massage, and other forms of non-penetrative intimacy.
- second quarter: Many couples experience an increase in libido due to hormonal changes. Try positions that are comfortable (avoid deep penetration).
- third quarter: Some situations may be uncomfortable because of the growing baby. Communication and exploration are important.
When to avoid?
“Mainly during the initial trimester, when there is some bleeding inside, we avoid intercourse,” says Dr. Jayaraman.
Doctors say that if there is a risk of miscarriage, bleeding or infection, sex should be avoided.
“High-risk cases, such as IVF pregnancies, twin or multiple pregnancies, or previous miscarriages, may require extra caution. In these situations, the doctor may recommend avoiding intercourse to be extra cautious,” he explains.
Further, Dr Jayaraman said that if the couple is in a monogamous relationship and both are free from major infections, protection is not mandatory.
“Using condoms can sometimes pose challenges due to decreased lubrication during intercourse, which could be due to vaginal inflammation, fatigue, or stress. In such cases, a mild lubricant may be helpful,” he says.
Dr Jayaraman further adds that intimacy is a broad spectrum and does not necessarily involve intercourse. There are many ways for couples to stay close and connected to each other, which can also help in better parenting.
Communication is key
Always remember that it is important to openly discuss your comfort and preferences with your partner.
Dr Gupta says that the pregnant partner should listen to their body and rest if they feel tired or uncomfortable.
She added, “Intimacy during pregnancy is a beautiful expression of love and connection. By understanding your body and communicating openly, you can enjoy a safe and fulfilling experience throughout your pregnancy journey.”
Is it good for the child?
Dr. Neerja Agarwal explains, “Maintaining intimacy during pregnancy can be indirectly beneficial for the baby. When parents maintain a healthy and supportive relationship, it creates a positive environment for the unborn baby. Emotional connection and stability between parents can reduce stress levels, which is important because high levels of stress during pregnancy can potentially affect the developing fetus.”
Now, here are some suggestions:
- For the partner who is not pregnant, it is important to prioritize communication and understanding.
- Start by openly discussing your pregnant partner’s needs, wants, and comfort level.
- Be aware of any physical changes or discomfort they experience and adjust intimacy accordingly.
- Try different positions that are comfortable for your partner and avoid putting pressure on their stomach.
- Take cues from them and be aware of their energy level, and be prepared to stop or adjust as needed.
- To maintain emotional connection and reassure your partner of their desirability and your continued attraction to them, remember to express your love and support through both verbal and physical affection.
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