The idea of ​​cooking together with your spouse, sneaking a playful embrace down the aisle, or sharing an evening of passionate romance while lying on the couch watching a favorite movie, are things that many couples dream of. However, these dreams often remain just that for couples living in a joint family.

Couples living with families find it difficult to cherish romantic moments due to lack of privacy, constant interruptions and some unspoken expectations. Sometimes, you don’t even have the ability to think about such things because you are so engrossed in family life, kids and all its demands. Does this feel like the reality of your life?

But does this mean that living with family is a bad idea? No! Does this also mean that you leave romance on the back burner due to family obligations? Definitely not!

Marriage counselors say finding privacy and keeping the romance alive is a common issue for Indian couples who live under the same roof with their families – as it limits privacy and intimacy and hinders meaningful couple time. Creates obstacles. Not only physical intimacy, but also emotional intimacy may take a backseat.

“Too often, couples fall into a routine where romance takes a back seat. This happens because their focus becomes focused on caregiving, household responsibilities and managing complex family dynamics,” explains Dr Nisha Khanna, a Delhi-based marriage counselor. India Today,

“Many customers seek counseling for these concerns. Common issues include lack of personal time, one partner prioritizing time with parents rather than the couple’s relationship, excessive household responsibilities, and pressure to live with in-laws. If children are involved, the additional responsibilities can further strain the relationship,” she adds.

This dynamic can have a negative impact on your marriage. Such challenges can overwhelm couples, causing frustration and resentment. But of course there is a way! All you need is a little bit of creativity as well as intention.

First, be intentional

You and your partner have to be intentional about keeping the romance alive – only then can you create the mental space and find creative solutions. You have to sit together, talk and express your expectations.

“When living with family, keeping the romance alive requires creativity and deliberate effort. Couples should ensure that intimacy doesn’t take a back seat by prioritizing alone time and setting boundaries with family members,” says Shahzeen Shivdasani, Mumbai-based relationship expert and author.

Be intentional about maintaining physical intimacy.

“This requires both partners to work intentionally and proactively as a team,” says Dr. Khanna.

Set boundaries with family members

To maintain romance after marriage, it is important to set boundaries with family members. It’s never too late to make changes for the better. Your parents or in-laws may not have prioritized such moments with their partners due to domestic responsibilities, but you don’t have to follow the same path.

It is possible to respect the family and have your own personal space as a couple while living in the same house.

“Set aside time after everyone goes to bed as your own private time, or create a dedicated space in the house that’s just for the two of you,” suggests Shahzeen.

Let your family know about your need to spend quality time with your partner and explain it respectfully. Be consistent in your efforts, and present it as non-negotiable. To maintain balance, be sure to encourage family activities at different times.

Take ‘us’ time – places to stay, walks, date nights

Stealing those playful, playful moments beyond the four walls of your bedroom or at unexpected times of the day may be your idea of ​​keeping your romance alive, but there’s a lot more you can do to keep the spark burning.

Dr. Khanna, a marriage counselor with over 15 years of experience, recommends scheduling regular date nights or outings. This could include having lunch or dinner together, going to a movie, enjoying a long drive, or simply spending private time as a couple. These small gestures create meaningful experiences that strengthen the bond.

“To break the monotony of being confined to the bedroom, find creative ways to get excited while being with the family. Couples might want to plan activities that take them out of the house, such as walks, short drives or outdoor picnics, to enjoy private moments in a different setting. Setting up a cozy corner in the living room or balcony for intimate conversations or a movie night can bring a change of scenery,” suggests Shivani Sadhu, a Delhi-based marriage counselor.

If space at home is limited, plan a monthly getaway to enjoy quality time together.

Dedicate at least an hour to each other only, with no third person present to interrupt.

“Couples often face challenges when one partner feels the other is overly involved with their family. To address this, I suggest devoting at least an hour each day exclusively to each other, during which family matters are not discussed,” says Dr Khanna.

It could be your tea time in the morning, a long walk or a badminton date in the evening or some time on the terrace.

small gestures matter

Kiss your partner when they least expect it, don’t shy away from holding their hand or hugging them in front of the family. Plan those little surprises. Leave loving notes. These small gestures matter and can keep the two of you connected.

Even activities like solving puzzles or playing board games help. You can also send playful texts, emojis or memes to stay connected even while you’re at home.

“Scheduling times when other family members are out or busy can also help. Shivani Sadhu suggests that small surprises like home-cooked food, surprise gifts or planned activities can bring novelty and happiness to their relationship.

Intimacy is an important part of any relationship, and living with family may mean working a little harder to nurture it. But by being creative, working as a team, and staying excited and active – your relationship will definitely remain strong and vibrant.