For many parents, the idea of sending their child away from home to a college or school seems unsettling. Will they manage on their own? Will they eat well? Will they be safe? Often, families have to settle for the nearest college, even when other options are available. Spiritual teacher and author Acharya Prashant feels that this desire to keep children close can actually become a hindrance to them. In a recent Instagram Reel, she explained why parents should let go of the need to control every part of their child’s life, and instead give them the freedom to grow, make mistakes, and be independent. Here’s what he said. “Send them to a distant one” Speaking about a common dilemma faced by parents while choosing a college, Acharya Prashant said distance can become an opportunity for growth. He said, “Children have grown up, they are getting admission in colleges etc. and there are two options: one near home and the other five hundred, one thousand, two thousand kilometers away. Send them to the far one.” His point is not that every child should study outside their hometown, but rather that parents should not choose familiarity over growth simply because they are afraid to let go. Parents don’t need to manage every detail. Acharya Prashant also talked about a habit that many Indian parents can relate to: constantly checking up on their kids. He said that many parents continue to monitor the daily routine of their children even after they grow up. “And don’t interfere in his life.” He said parents often discuss complex ideas about child-rearing but ignore this basic principle. Acharya Prashant says, “Parents often talk about big things. But there is one very small thing that a grown-up child wants. That is, ‘My parents should not interfere in my life.'” According to him, parents should create a healthy environment and values during childhood, but once children grow up, they should trust them to make their own choices. “The environment has been set, now fly as you wish,” he explains. Regarding what healthy parenting looks like, she said parents should focus on providing support rather than control. “Yes, they create the whole environment. The environment is ready, and do whatever you want. Fly as you want.” He believes that once children are given the right values, parents should allow them to explore the world without constantly dictating every decision. Don’t be afraid to lose control. Many parents worry that giving children too much freedom will cause them to drift away from the family. Acharya Prashant challenges this fear head-on. “Don’t be afraid that we are parents and the child is slipping out of our hands.” In fact, he believes that “Slipping up” is exactly what healthy parenting should encourage. “If he’s slipping out of your hands, that’s a good thing. Children who are controlled too much often have difficulty finding their identity.” He said. “The child who is held tight in your grasp will become a bonsai.” Like a bonsai tree that is kept small by design, a child cannot reach his or her full potential if not given enough freedom. Why children need open fields To further explain his point, Acharya Prashant took the example of a tree. He said, “Love is like this: The seed may be mine, but I Have sown it, given it water and nourishment. Now it has to have deep roots.” But he argues that security alone is not enough for growth. “The daughter will only grow so much if she stays in a pot.” Instead, children need room to explore life beyond the safety of the family. “She doesn’t need a pot,” he shares. What does he want? He needs the open field so that he can reach for the higher skies.” Big Parenting Message Acharya Prashant’s advice may not be practical for every family. There are financial constraints, security concerns and educational opportunities that determine where a child will study. But his big message is about much more than just college choice. It is about raising children who can make decisions, face challenges and build their own lives. It is rarely easy for parents to let go. Then Also, sometimes, the greatest expression of love is not to hold firm, but to trust children enough to let them spread their wings. Image Courtesy: Photos by PrashantAdvaita Foundation.