Maintenance sex: a task, connection, or just ‘Let peace’ moment?
It is rare for two people to drive matching sex. Therefore, some couples indulge in maintenance sex to keep their relationship strong. But is this a relationship lifeline or is it just another duty?
In short
- Sex drive dewinding is common in joints over time
- Couples are attached to maintenance sex to maintain relationships
- Open communication is necessary for mutual satisfaction
Have you had sex with your partner when you are not in the mood? Or is this only another job for you? Or are you pretending to sleep before going to your partner’s bed? Perhaps, you will get comfort to know that declining sex drives are very common in joints.
According to a study by Johns Hopkins, there is a pattern of sexual intimacy. The first phase is – couples, in new love, are more excited, experience closeness and have regular sex. The second phase is – once the couple has been in a relationship for more than three to four years, the freshness of the relationship stops, and sex becomes regular. The third stage is – once the couple start a family, the couple’s sex life takes a toll, mostly due to exhaustion and lack of private time. Many people do not recover from it even after their child grows up.
The study has shown that almost a woman in 10 experiences a decrease in her sex drive at some point in life. This can be caused by many factors, such as career and family pressure, feeling overwhelmed, resentment, loss of connections, changes in priorities, raising responsibilities, hormonal changes, depression, body image worries and physical changes.
Men also experience a decrease in sex drives, usually due to one of these reasons – physical changes, social stigma, erectile dysfunction or health conditions.
It is rare for two people to drive matching sex. Therefore, some couples form a silent agreement (or a oral one) to engage in sex to maintain their relationship, even if one or both companions are not especially in the mood. However, often unspecified, maintenance sex occurs. But is this a relationship lifeline or is it just another duty?
Originally, maintenance sex is a couple that has sex to ensure that both people in the relationship are sexually satisfied. It is like maintaining a relationship with the help of sex as we maintain our house walls with furniture with paint or nuts and bolts.
“This is a way to keep the connection alive and ensure that intimacy remains a part of the relationship,” Dr. Pallavi Abhilasha said, Associate Professor at Christian Medical College and Hospital Department of Psychiatry of Ludhiana, Punjab.
He said that some couples find that it can promote their relationship by keeping the physical bond strong and neglect or distance feelings, “people do it for various reasons, which maintains intimacy, maintaining the needs of each other, each other’s needs Complete, or simply maintains the relationship. “
Even though it is difficult to put a number of how common it is because it is a private case and vary from couple to doubles, but many sex experts say maintenance sex should definitely be part of the menu. A 2017 study has shown that couples having sex once a week are the happiest. Another study in the US states that couples who have sex more than once a week did not report any happy, and those who used to have less than once a week, they had less complete feeling. Informed
Sridula*, a resident of Delhi, said, “Yes, I have sex with my partner when I am not in the mood and so he is all fair in love and sex, unless it is mutual.”
Sex is a way to remind your partner how much you mean each other. But is it non-consent or unwanted sex? Dr. Pallavi Abhilasha said, “While it can be called as unwanted sex, it is still agreed if both partners agree. The important difference is that one or both partners are not particularly enthusiastic about it at that time at that time Can be. “
To expect that your partner always wants an exact amount of sex as you do, not particularly practical. For some, the sex is like killing the gym – you don’t want to do it in the beginning, but once you work, you are satisfied. Whereas there are other people who think that it is better to hit the gym once and then eat junk-free throughout the week.
A housewife, Sharanya*said that her bond with her husband is very strong, but she does not just have sex drives. To avoid this one thing, they ruined their relationship, he said ‘I just go with it’.
“For me, it’s more about finishing with it. It’s a lot of time taking and just looks like a process. Sex is an unheard rule between my husband and me once a week. We love each other Do it and I am good, so this is a win.
Is it sexist?
Some people argue that maintenance is sexist and one should only have sex when they are ‘mood’. But what happens when a partner is not in ‘mood’ and second, with high libido, wants sex? It feels hounded for sex all the time and the other is pathetic, which leads to an unhealthy, sexless and incomplete marriage. Sex plays an important role in a healthy and happy relationship.
Dr. Pallavi Abhilasha explained it further, “Is it a sexist, depends on the dynamics of the relationship. If a partner feels pressure or bound to engage in sex, it can be problematic. However, if both partners, if both partners Agreed and watch it in a way, it can be a healthy practice.
The joints may require or need maintenance sex to maintain their relationship, maintain intimacy, or meet each other’s needs. “The shortcomings may involve the feelings of resentment or obligation if a fellow feels pressure. It is necessary for both partners to communicate openly and make sure that they are comfortable with both arrangements,” he said .
A redit thread is asking men how much maintenance of sex in a healthy marriage is enough, a user posted, “If sex is just duty or maintenance then there is a big inherent problem. I have no sex for duty sex I will not have sex with sex and I am a friend.
Another user posted, “If it is just a expression free and is saying that it is not thank you. If it is an active association with some play acting, I am doing everything for it.”
Many people resonated the idea that they would not have sex instead of going for maintenance sex.
When to help professional?
If you feel pressure in sex, talk to your partner. If the force is included, seek professional help. One should look at a physician or health care provider if one feels completely sexually dissatisfied or experiences abnormally longer dip in libido.
