Filmmaker Karan Johar had a difficult childhood. He initially felt he was a failure as a child and that his parents Yash Johar and Hiroo Johar deserved a better son. In a recent interview, the film director and producer revealed how he felt body-shamed and thought, “Why can’t I be like other boys?”

Talking about the failures in your life The Faye D’Souza ShowKaran said, “I felt like a huge failure as a child. I felt I was disappointing my parents. I felt I wasn’t the boy they wanted me to be. I was groomed to believe that because I was effeminate. I was different from the rest of the boys in my school and neighbourhood. I didn’t want to play sports.”

Karan revealed that he was an introverted and shy child who was either lost in books or watching Hindi movies. Every time he came home with his report card from school, he saw a look of disappointment in his mother’s eyes. The filmmaker said, “I always went to school with a heavy heart. There was indifference towards me in school. It didn’t matter whether I was there or not.”

Recalling an incident from his school days at the age of 3, Karan explained, “There was a talent contest, and everyone was performing, and I did a dance. I could tell some people were laughing, and my mother was in the audience. I remember I went home, closed the door, and cried, thinking, ‘Why can’t I be like the other boys.'”

To deal with his body image issues, Karan Johar joined a public speaking class in college without his parents’ knowledge. “There was a gentleman there who told me that I had a feminine voice and that I wasn’t going to have it easy in life. He sent me to a class that would give me a bit of a baritone voice. All this time, I was telling my father that I was going for computer classes because I didn’t want to tell him that this was what I was going to do,” Karan Johar revealed.

Eventually, Karan found success in speech and represented and won debate competitions. In 1994, he ventured into direction with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and continued to make hits. However, he still struggles with body image issues.

The filmmaker said, “I have body dysmorphia. I feel very uncomfortable getting into a pool. I don’t know how to do that without feeling pathetic. I try very hard to overcome that. I always wear oversized clothes. Even in moments of intimacy, I turn off the lights.”

Karan Johar last held the directorial chair for Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani. He is awaiting the release of his upcoming production venture Bad Newz, starring Vicky Kaushal, Tripti Dimri and Amy Virk in the lead roles.