Trigger warning: This article contains references to sexual abuse
Justin Baldoni is looking back on his time filming It End’s With Us, and revealing how while shooting one scene, in particular, he almost had a breakdown. The actor and director appeared on Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail podcast on Wednesday, December 4, where he talked about sexual trauma and his experience receiving an ADHD diagnosis at age 40, among other topics.
Speaking about his latest big-screen offering, It End’s With Us, the Jane the Virgin star recalled the scene in which his character, Ryle Kincaid, finds his wife Lily’s phone and sees her ex-boyfriend Atlas’ number on it. Is. Blake Lively and Brandon Sklenar play Lily and Atlas in the film.
“He’s very jealous, and he’s heartbroken, and he’s angry, and he means her no harm, but you can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I almost broke down,” Baldoni shared. “I had to go and just cry and shake because it was hurting so much.”
Baldoni explained that with characters like Ryle, it is not necessarily about what they do, but rather that their actions are a result of what they have kept hidden in their hearts their entire lives. In Ryle’s case, he felt that his brother should have been alive instead of him after a childhood accident.
Baldoni revealed that portraying the character was challenging and that it stayed with him for some time even after the project’s conclusion.
In addition to acting, Baldoni directed and executive-produced the film through his Wayfarer Studios. He also spoke to Day about his experience in the filmmaker’s chair. “Directing is a very lonely job,” he said, adding that people on the set would instinctively gather around him because no one wanted to bother the director. Similarly, he shared that he also limited himself when directing, feeling that as a leader, he could not tell his crew that he was feeling anxious or nervous.
Regarding his previous sexual trauma, Baldoni said it happened when he was in college. However, he said he has since worked on it under the guidance of his therapist and is also grateful for the experience, as it inspired him to drop out of college and move to LA to pursue his acting dreams.
Baldoni is also grateful to his therapist who continually encouraged him to get diagnosed with ADHD, which he did earlier this year and received positive results. Ironically, Baldoni appreciates knowing what he is suffering from, because it has allowed him to feel better about himself and develop more compassion for himself.
If you need support or you know someone who is struggling with domestic violence, assault or abuse, please contact your nearest mental health specialist, NGO or talk to someone about it. There are many helplines available for this.
Also read: It ends with us: Learn about all the major changes from the book
