Breakups are never easy, whether it is a long -term love story that started back in school or a short -term connection that began negligent on DMS and became somewhat serious. When you invest your time, emotions and energy in another person, the end is not just about saying goodbye; It is about processing the loss of a precious bond. The pain does not go away at once, and it can remain until you expect it at least.

Nevertheless, many of us find ourselves in some form or the other. Just because the romance is over, it does not always mean that a person has to disappear completely from our life. Sometimes we explain ourselves that it is possible to be a friend.

Bailey in Summer I became beautifulShe first fell to Conrad, complex elder brother. Their relationship was about intensity, but it crashed into the heart. She then joined her younger brother, Jeremiah. His connection was easy, light, and everything was not his first love.

Even after moving forward, Belly chose Conrad to keep it in his life as a friend, assuming that they can separate the past and start fresh. But she was wrong because emotions were very deep, and the lines between friendship and something became very easily blurred. Staying close to Conrad caused more confusion and more heartache for him, and nothing was beautiful about it.

But can you really make friends with the east without complications, and more importantly, is it really healthy for both people?

Emotional goods

When a relationship ends, most people go through the same feelings that you feel when dealing with loss.

“There is denial, anger, and much more emotional pain. Emotional landscape is disturbed. Dosha, guilt and endless ‘Why me?’ Question. Today India,

Delhi -based relationship counselor, Ruchi Ruhh agrees that after a breakup, the emotional landscape may feel heavy. This is not only a loss of a partner, but also the routine you shared and the future you have imagined together. People go through an identity and future crisis, look like the next chapter.

In this delicate situation, having a friend with a former can be psychologically challenging. It is not easy to infection for friendship with romance, as chronic intimacy does not just fit into a plateonic mold. Such friendship usually takes time, treatment and emotional distance before feeling natural.

For this, Sood says that it also requires a major change in expectations. Till yesterday, this person was your top priority, and suddenly they are not. Friendship does not need the same care or feeling that a relationship.

What does Access Want to be a friend?

Ruuh tells us that there may be different reasons why people want to be friends after breaking up. A common man does not want to lose emotional support and association that the person provided once.

Many people keep taking deep care even after the romance fade. Other friends are because they share social circles, work, or, children in some cases. Just because the romantic chapter ends, it eradicates other connections and shared places that still exist, sometimes feel friendly, or even necessary.

Meanwhile, Dr. Sajila Manny, Advisor, Psychiatry, Sir Gangaram Hospital, New Delhi, feels that some people are afraid to cut the relationship completely, so they catch what they live, even if the relationship is over. For them, as a friend, it hopes that things can eventually do.

Being a friend with a former can be risky

Sood tells us, “Breakup is not always the best as a friend.”

It can also blur the boundaries, making it difficult to let the person go. Another big risk is to take yourself or your former back and stop someone from finding more suitable or compatible.

In addition, Ruh states that many people focus on the hope of reconciliation, assuming that as a friend, they can eventually re -awaken the relationship. But going into friendship with expectation can cause inconvenience to the partner who does not want romance again, and it is still expecting more.

How to be friends with your former work

For ruuh, time is important if two access friends want to be friends: “Time allows both people to fix, and only then a real friendship can begin. This transition is possible if there is no residual attraction, jealousy or emotional accessories.”

If you choose to remain a friend, it is important to determine clear boundaries. This may mean that there is not a lot of meeting, perhaps holding once every other day instead of every other day. This also means that avoiding late night emotional calls, clear steering from tampering, and definitely not crossing physical intimacy.

She shares that another important aspect is accepting that your event will eventually move forward. Comparing yourself with your new partner only hurts. Your role is no longer a part of their romantic life, and recognizes that makes you a healthy dynamic.

It is also important to turn this new friendship into a placeholder for a position or old relationship. Understand what it is – friendship.

Should you try it?

Well, experts advise against being a friend with a former. While the idea of ​​friendship can feel comfortable, in many cases, the distance is healthy.

“According to me, a person should avoid being friends after a breakup. This requires high level of maturity from both partners, which is to maintain post-breakup friendship.”

Sood also feels that it is not a good idea to try to become a friend immediately after the breakup. “Finally, being a friend can be cured. First, you need time to do the time to do what went wrong, why the breakup was necessary, and a healthy, more compatible relationship can look for you. It is difficult to work for you. These reflections are difficult to work if you still exist as a friend in your life.”

However, Ru feels that there is no universal answer, and it really depends on the relationship and those involved.

In an ideal scenario, if both partners can determine clear boundaries, respect each other’s new life, overcome jealousy, and allow continuous comparison, then a real, healthy friendship is possible. After all, you have shared history, and do not erase that connection.

But in fact, it often does not work in this way. The inability to say ‘not’ for residual attraction, resentment, or some behaviors can blur the lines. The relationship ends in a misleading location, not quite romantic, not completely plateonic.

Impact on future relationships

Staying friends with your former may feel normal for you, but it may be uncomfortable for the person you date in future.

“A new partner can not always be comfortable with you living close to a former, which can cause stress. On the other hand, a former one who still cares deeply, can feel deeply about your new relationship,” Dr. Men said.

Not only this, but people often compare two relationships, sometimes without feeling it, which only connects confusion.

On the other hand, according to Ruh, if the boundaries are well defined, there is no attack, and you are transparent with your new partner, it can actually be a sign of maturity and emotional intelligence.

Indication it’s time to step back

• You are still emotionally holding: If you cannot let the pain go, yet feel romantically/sexually attracted, or compare your former with new partners, it means that you have not proceeded completely.
• You feel stuck: When friendship prevents you or your east from growing, moving forward or building healthy relationships, it is time to stop.
• This affects your future relationships: If your new partner feels insecure or as is a third wheel, friendship can do more harm than well.
• The boundaries are unclear: Blurred lines, late night emotional calls, or disrespect to your boundaries that friendship is not healthy.
• It sounds toxic: Continuous logic, jealousy, or passive-aggressive behavior converts friendship into emotional goods.
• There is a lot of drama: If most interactions revolve around previous pain, confusion, or unresolved issues, it is an indication to go.

Ground level

A breakup brings a mixture of emotions: anger, resentment, sadness, anxiety, pain, rejection, or sometimes freedom and relief. At the end of the day, having a friend with a former seems mature to others, it is not about that it really feels healthy for you.

You may want to catch something that used to feel special once, but it is important to choose what is protecting your mental peace. It depends on how well you have processed your past. If you are not ready for friendship, the most mature option is to allow the past to live in the past.

However, if both you and your former are in the same place, are clear about the boundaries, and really want to be friends, it can open the door for a respectable and positive new bond.