I don’t want to live in a marriage where my wife has to stay…: Abhishek Bachchan
Actor Abhishek Bachchan opens up about ego, masculinity and why he rejected traditional gender roles in his marriage to Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. She also revealed that she believes one partner should never “stop” to make the other feel successful.
Actor Abhishek Bachchan has said that his “severe ego” had stopped him from playing traditional gender roles in his marriage to actor and former Miss World Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. The 50-year-old actor recently appeared on a podcast with actor and YouTuber Lilly Singh, where he shared insights about ego and partnership in his 18-year marriage. Bachchan said that his sense of self and masculinity does not depend on his wife making him feel less accomplished.
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During the conversation, when Singh mentioned men who feel insecure in a marriage with a more successful partner, Bachchan said, “For me, it also comes from severe ego. I’m not a person who wants to win because someone else lied and let you get ahead. I was brought up with the belief that you have to earn your wins.”
Bachchan said that he is proud of the fact that he made his own career and that his father, megastar Amitabh Bachchan, never made any films for him. The actor, known for starring in films like Guru, Raavan, Dasvini, Dhoom, Yuva and Paa, elaborated on his “arrogance” comment.
He explained, “In short, the reason I say ‘ego’ is because I have never been the kind of person who believes that to win that race someone else has to give up or stop running. That’s my mental structure. I don’t want to be in a partnership or a marriage where my wife has to stop doing something because I need to feel like a man about myself. And thankfully, my wife is someone who doesn’t think that way.”
The 50-year-old emphasized that his relationship with Aishwarya has always been based on partnership. “When my parents got married, my mother was an even bigger star than my father. So, it was not an unnatural thing,” she said, referring to traditional gender roles and the success of the marriage.
partnership and mutual respect
Bachchan recalled that he knew Rai from the early days of his career. His second film, two and a half letters of love (2000), were made together, although they were just friends at the time. He said, “We weren’t in a relationship together then. We were just friends. We were always friends.”
He highlighted that his wife is the only female actor with whom he has appeared in several films. Bachchan said that during their courtship, engagement and marriage the relationship continued naturally without rigid roles. “There was no discussion like, ‘I’ll bring the food and you take care of the house’,” he said.
parenting approach
Junior Bachchan also opened up about raising his daughter Aaradhya Bachchan. “As parents, fathers are lousy teachers,” she said, adding that men often lack the sensitivity of women. “Men are willing to demonstrate what they want. We are task-oriented,” she explained.
She and Rae try to lead by example rather than dictate to their daughter. He said, “You have set an example by doing this. In my house both of us try to be the best example for Aaradhya.”
AB Jr. also joked about self-defense, saying, “In that sense, it never occurred to me that I had to teach her self-defense. If you’ve seen my wife, she can take care of herself.”
He concluded by saying that when parents live with morals and values, children also follow them. “So, there is no competition in the house about who gets to be the man, who gets to be the woman,” he said.
Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai were married on 20 April 2007 in a grand ceremony at their Mumbai home. At the end of this month both of them will complete 19 years of marriage.