How to role play like a boss if your bedroom act sucks
You don’t need Priyanka Chopra’s acting skills to add drama to your bedroom. Just know these 5 things.
Have you ever thought of spicing things up by doing some roleplay in the bedroom, but you fear that your acting skills are more like Uday Chopra than Shah Rukh Khan?
Don’t worry, you are not alone.
There’s expert guidance available to help you master the art of bedroom drama, even if your acting makes Salman Khan’s shirt-tearing scenes look subtle.
You can still spice things up. No national awards needed, I promise.
Understand what’s important
Do you know why it is called roleplay and not acting? The skill of acting is not important here; it is about the dynamics between the partners and the individuals involved in the experience.
Counselling psychologist Shreya Kaul says this is the first thing to keep in mind and perhaps “it will make you more confident in your intimacy”.
“There’s a common misconception that you need to act a certain way when role-playing, which is probably due to watching pornography. In porn, people act things out with a script, but it’s not the same thing. It’s about partners deciding to experience something new sexually. They put themselves into particular setups or characters they’ve chosen and discuss them in detail,” she says.
“The sports aspect is more important. It’s about the moment and the experience,” she adds.
Also, it’s important to be honest not just with yourself, but with your partner as well, to avoid setting false expectations.
“Be clear and honest. Avoid patterns that you cannot maintain,” says Dr Sanjay Kumawat, consultant psychiatrist and sexologist, Fortis Hospital Mulund, Mumbai.
Stick to your strengths
“Starting with a known scenario reduces preparation, so you can get straight to work,” explains US-based sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Cosmopolitan (May–June 2024 ed.).
If you are just starting out and are unsure about your abilities, don’t be overly ambitious and stick to real-life roles or ones that seem easy.
If this doesn’t work, try acting it out beforehand to see if you can get into character completely (this is not sarcasm).
Shreya says that open discussion helps in this matter.
“Discussing what you agree to, understanding likes and dislikes, safe words, what you may or may not like can be an icebreaker. You can discuss props or costumes and create scenarios to explore together,” she adds.
going
The focus here is not on the task at hand, but on keeping up the momentum. How do you do that?
“You don’t have to write a script with exact lines, but having a basic idea of the trajectory of the scene can be really helpful. That way, there will be less room for improvisation, and you won’t be stuck wondering what to do next. Think of it as a map: first, this happens, then this, and eventually we get to that point,” she suggests.
Vanessa agrees, “Writing a legitimate screenplay isn’t a requirement, but agreeing on some basic prompts can help with nerves and logistics.”
Defining roles
It is important to define roles and know character traits. Will your character be shy, cheeky or mischievous? Maybe you can be a little aggressive but not violent. What kind of language will you use? Are you going to be abusive or respectful?
Figuring this out in advance means you won’t be constantly wondering what you need to do.
Shreya adds, “Also, it is important to discuss what you both want to achieve through role play. Having clarity about your goals and what is appealing to you about the scenario can make a huge difference. The more clarity you have before you begin, the less you will worry about what you should do at that moment.”
Don’t be bothered by mistakes
“Roleplaying is all about having fun in the bedroom and reconnecting with your partner. So, if someone says something that’s totally out of character for you, you can just laugh it off and then reconnect with each other,” says Vanessa.
This is not the time to be serious and rigid. You should go out, put your best creative foot forward, and watch the magic happen.
Remember to be open with your partner, because honestly, you can’t show your best abilities when you’re uncomfortable or not confident. Let your imagination and creativity take the lead and leave everything else to the moment.
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