Being with the person you love is a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? But where there is love, it is natural to have disagreements. And during those moments, we sometimes say things we’ve been suppressing, like, “If I’d known this about you, I wouldn’t have married you.”

The truth is that being in a relationship is different from being married and living together. With the patience levels of many people these days, it’s no surprise that divorce rates are on the rise.

But if couples live together before marriage, will it help the relationship? Could living in a live-in arrangement first be the secret to avoiding separation later? Let us know from the experts.

give up easily

Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach Aarti Chawla explains India Today People are giving up getting married for various reasons.

Fast-paced lifestyle, lack of patience and low tolerance are the major factors. Gone are the days when lovers would wait for a year to meet, convince their parents and write letters to woo someone. Now, swiping left and right is easier. If things don’t work out, people are more willing to move on.

Chawla says that when things are not going well in a relationship, it becomes easy to look for another ‘alternative’.

Financial stress is another contributor. Since both partners often work and earn, financial issues can create tension. If couples are not able to meet their financial goals at the time of marriage, it leads to frustration and conflict.

Meanwhile, Delhi-based relationship counselor Ruchi Rooh believes that modern society places too much importance on personal growth and happiness, which may lead people to abandon relationships that feel stagnant or unfulfilling.

She adds, “Divorce is no longer seen as a taboo or has a social stigma, making it an easier option for people.” Many individuals have high or unrealistic expectations of their partners, love, and relationships, often influenced by media portrayals that conflict with reality.

Ruh also noted that there is a growing recognition that toxic or unbalanced relationships can impact mental well-being, leading people to prioritize their mental health.

Can live-in be a savior?

“Research shows mixed results: some studies show that couples who live together before marriage report higher satisfaction, understanding, and stability, while others suggest this leads to ‘cohabitation inertia,’ which Meaning that couples marry out of convenience rather than compatibility,” says Ruchi Ruh. ,

For him, the answer is subtle. Although living together before marriage is not a one-size-fits-all solution, it can help partners understand each other’s habits, compatibilities, and ability to deal with conflicts.

Aarti Chawla agrees that live-in arrangements help couples understand each other more deeply.

“It helps them understand the nuances of living together – not just as roommates, but as partners for the next 40-50 years. Mental preparation is important. For a couple to move forward, they need to have mental All areas of life need to be considered, including wavelength, physical compatibility, core values ​​and financial goals to give them time to truly understand each other on all levels,” she says.

Living together gives couples a chance to learn each other’s routines and habits, reducing the chances of surprises in the future. In many cases, this makes divorce less likely, because the basics are in place.

Benefits of live-in relationship

Living together before marriage can serve as a compatibility check. It lets you observe your partner’s behavior in real life situations, including finances, responsibilities, stressful life events, and decision making.

Sharing space can also improve communication and conflict-resolution skills.

“You learn to see your partner as a whole person beyond the idealized version,” says Ruh, “this is invaluable for understanding their true self.”

Being in a live-in relationship gives couples the opportunity to break up without the fear of family or social pressure, which can be a relief for people who want to make decisions on their own terms.

Don’t ignore the negative aspects

However, live-in relationships also have their negative aspects. A major drawback is lack of commitment. Often, after living together for years, couples separate because there is no formal commitment. This arrangement gives both partners the freedom to walk away without any consequences.

Additionally, live-in relationships can attract judgment, especially in conservative societies and cultures.

Sometimes, living together can create a false sense of commitment, even if the relationship isn’t solid. If the relationship ends, sorting out shared living arrangements can be emotionally and financially burdensome – often as painful as divorce.

Thinking of trying it?

If you’re considering a live-in arrangement before tying the knot, keep a few things in mind:

• clarify your goals: Discuss what a live-in arrangement means for both of you, including long-term plans like marriage. Clear goals keep things on track.
• split the expenses: Agree on how to divide rent, groceries, and utilities.
• divide household tasks: Set expectations for work and responsibilities to avoid resentment.
• check regularly: Have regular conversations to make sure you’re both happy with the arrangement.
• plan for the worst: Be clear about what will happen if the relationship doesn’t work out, which will make any potential changes easier.
• respect personal space: Living together does not mean that you have to spend every moment together. Make sure you both have time for personal interests and friends.
• set financial expectations: List your financial goals and expectations ahead of time.
• discuss non-negotiables: Be clear about what is and is not acceptable in the relationship.

If done thoughtfully, a live-in relationship can give you a better understanding of whether marriage is the right move for you and your partner.