A child showing anger or tantrums can be frustrating for parents. While anger is a natural emotion, there are some acceptable ways to react and some intolerable ones. For parents, confusion arises when they don’t know how to respond. Is strict discipline or repeated instructions the solution? From what we learned from parents, it rarely works. But many parents come up with interesting solutions to handle their little one’s big emotions. Here are some parents sharing techniques that helped them better handle their children’s anger: “I started controlling my reactions.” Lakshmi M, a mother of two from Haldwani, says that whenever her 13 and 11 year old children got angry, she noticed a pattern. “I noticed that when I raised my voice during my children’s tantrums, the situation became worse. Soon I realized that my children were not learning peace because I was not showing it,” she says. “Ever since I realized this, I started lowering my voice, speaking slowly, and taking a few seconds before reacting whenever one of my kids got angry or threw a tantrum.” I am reacting calmly to my son’s anger.” Radha U, a Delhi-based mother of three, recalls that her eldest son, aged 17, used to get extremely upset whenever he could not do well in any task. In the past, Radha and her husband were troubled by their son’s “unbearable” anger. But now, as she says, “we began to sit next to him and calmly ask” What happened? She says that as soon as he started responding calmly, her son’s behavior also changed. Now instead of getting angry, he comes to him or his father and talks about the things that bother him. “I taught both of my daughters a special anger control technique.” Ananya, mother of two lovely daughters, says, “When my daughters were little, their anger would often come out in the form of yelling, crying or refusing to listen.” She says she realized that just telling her to ‘control her anger’ wouldn’t help. Ananya knew that talking and shouting would not solve the problem. “So, I started teaching her a little technique – pause before reacting. Whenever she felt angry, I would encourage her to stop, take a few deep breaths, and count slowly before saying or doing anything.” Ananya says that over time, both her daughters started using this technique themselves. “I started listening to my daughter instead of scolding her.” “My daughter often scolds me over small things. Gets angry – at not getting what she wanted, being told no, or having to stop doing an activity she liked. Earlier, I would immediately start harassing her,” says Jyoti P, mother of a 7-year-old girl. He found that this made things worse. ”I changed my perspective and started listening first. Sometimes she just wanted to feel heard,” Jyoti adds. Jyoti’s approach worked because there are times when children don’t want to listen, but want to be heard. “We started investing our son’s anger into physical activity.” “My son has always been very energetic, and when he felt frustrated, that energy would often come out in the form of anger,” says Rahul, father of 9-year-old Abhay. “We started channeling his anger into physical activities like running, cycling, playing football and even simple exercises at home, and trust me, it helped,” Rahul says with a hint of laughter. Now his son Abhay sometimes tells him, “I need a little time. “Need to play because I’m feeling angry.”